#look at me; promoting him more than SM ever will | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

da-rulah · 10 months ago

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No idea if you deleted this one or maybe it just didn't give you any inspiration, but I just wanna say I'm addicted to your stories, the way you write fiction gives me literal goosebumps and OMG 😭😭... Ugh, If you ever get some time could you write some pathetic whimpering cardi C of him finding out his partner only using him for his position in the church then being comforted by the reader? Nswf if you want 🥰. Love you sm! Hope you have a great day/evening/night luv :)

Hey lovely! Thank you so so much, that's so sweet of you to say 🥹 Strangely, I don't remember getting an ask with this request in? I'm so sorry if I skimmed over it at some point, but I'd be happy to do this one for you!

I've made Copia's sexuality fluid, since I don't know your gender and would like to keep the reader neutral for all to enjoy!

He's also a total bumbling idiot and this has got to be one of the sillier things I've written him doing.

SFW, GN!Reader

The Cardinal was so lost in his sorrow, so immersed in his own world of sadness that he wouldn't notice right now if a meteor hit him. He sat in his quarters, his head in his hands, snivelling and sniffling into the leather with whimpers that to his own ears sounded incredibly pathetic. But he just couldn't help himself...

The knife of betrayal was still lodged firmly in his back, and the pain was radiating, burning him right through to his chest.

Lost in his despair as he was, he didn't notice the click of his front door opening, nor your humming as you wondered in with arms full of clean laundry to bring back to him.

"Hey C, just me... I got your shirts steamed, and that curry stain was a nightmare to get out of your cassock, but hey, you know I work miracles down in that laundry room..." you wittered on, not even looking around the room as you barged in, dumping the pile of fresh clothing on the end of his bed as you usually would as part of your duties.

Having been friends with the Cardinal for well over a decade, marching into his quarters unannounced wasn't rare for you and had only resulted in maybe four occasions where you'd seen more than you bargained for...

At the sound of your voice, he finally looked up, snapping his head in your direction to be met with your back, dropping the clothes on his bed.

"G-grazie..." he stuttered, wiping quickly at the tears on his cheeks and straightening himself up. He didn't want you to see him like this. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was weak. But when you turned to look at him, you knew immediately he was no okay.

"C?" You rushed to his side, immediately settling on your knees in front of him, taking his hands in yours. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"What do you mean? I'm fine," he tried to style it out, unaware of the black streaks from his eye make up down his face. You reached up and swiped his cheek with your thumb, showing the smudge that coated your finger.

"Yeah, you look it..." you deadpanned, a hint of dry sarcasm, "Come on, you can't hide it from me if you tried. What happened?"

Copia squeezed your hands in his, chewing the inside of his cheek until he found the courage to say what had him so upset.

"She was lying to me... She got promoted in the clergy and, eh... dumped me... She said she only was using me..." The pitch of his voice rose with that last part, more tears threatening to spill from his waterline. Anger boiled inside you; you'd never liked that bitch, there was always something sleazy about her...

Not that you'd have ever said that to him. He already accused you once of hating everybody he dated a few years back. The fact that it was true and caused by some harboured and unspoken feelings for him was beside the point... Copia was your friend, you best friend, and you had to support him.

But now? You wanted the wring the neck of that viper.

"Oh, honey... I'm sorry," you settled for; Copia needed comfort right now, not an 'I told you so' or 'I knew it'. You got up from the floor, hands still holding his, and sat beside him, resting your head on his shoulder and tugging him closer.

"I have such terrible luck... Why must I fall for the wrong people?" he whined, submerged in his own pity party.

"You can't blame yourself, C, she was clearly manipulating you... It's got nothing to do with you and who you fall for," you told him genuinely. It wasn't his fault he was too kind, to open and left hopelessly craving affection thanks to a childhood devoid of it.

"Sí, it does... First there was Sister Daphne when I was a teenager; she turned out to be so cruel. Then there was Brother Alfonso; he was a bad person. Then Sister Paula, but she never liked me back anyway... Then you, but you only wanted my friendship, and then-"

"What...?" you interrupted his woeful ramblings, the mention of 'you' like a sucker punch to the throat.

"Sí, you remember, I told you years ago I had feelings for you but you said you wanted to stay friends!"

"N-no, you didn't..." you told him, no recollection of the memory at all. You'd certainly remember that... and that absolutely would NOT have been your response.

"Sí, Sí, we were walking through the gardens looking at the moonflowers... you said you liked them because they only bloom at night. I told you I had feelings for you and you said that was lovely of me, but we were better as good friends, and then I remember looking up at the moon and back but you were gone, and then one of my rats crawled up my arm and whispered to me that I-"

He stopped dead, his rambling ceasing immediately as his eyes widened and his cheeks fell, realisation hitting him.

"Oh, no..."

"Y-you... based years of you not talking to me about this... off of a dream?!"

"Well, I... No, but it was so real..."

"Real enough that your rat started whispering things to you?! Satanas, Copia!" you scolded, shoving him away from you with a few playful slaps to his arm. "You are unbelievable!"

"I-I'm sorry! I really thought... I forgot about the rat, I just, um... cazzo," he cursed himself, feeling a bigger fool than he ever had. He'd spent too much energy focussing on the part of that dream that felt real, the one where you kindly rejected him and asked him to move on, to be friends. He so wholeheartedly believed that was a memory...

"How long?" you asked him...

"Uh, for a few years..."

"Copia..."

"Okay, fine, maybe 8 years," he admitted, hiding his face in his hands again. He felt so humiliated.

"And do you still...?" A heavy silence settled between you. Copia refused to remove his head from his hands. You pulled on his wrists, trying desperately to get him to look at you.

"Per favore, I feel foolish!" he whined, muffled by his hands.

"Copia, stop it! Do you still have feelings for me or not?" you asked him, desperate for a response. Finally, he dropped his hands and briefly looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"Sí... Mi dispiace, I don't want to ruin this friendship, but I-" You interrupted him again, planting both palms firmly on either side of this bumbling idiot's head and forcing him towards you so you could plant a bruising kiss to his lips, thus, finally shutting him up.

Copia's hands flew up in the air while he searched for balance, pulled off-centre by your ferocious kiss. The sight to anybody else would have been comical; his cheeks smushed under your hands, his eyes wide and limbs flailing as he registered exactly what you were doing.

When it sank in, he relaxed, his gloved hands gripping your wrists and body leaning into you while his lips softened against yours. From ferocious and desperate, to calmly passionate, you melted into one another.

"I am a fool," he chuckled, pressing his forehead to yours when he came up for air.

"Big fool," you told him. "And just so you don't misunderstand... I feel the same for you, C," you confessed.

"Sí, sí, I, eh... I worked that out," he laughed bashfully. "OW!"

He shot back, rubbing his cheek and looking at you with confusion and a slightly pinker cheek that the other. "Did you just pinch me...?"

"Just checking," you smiled cheekily, the both of you sharing a stupid smile and leaning into each other for another loving and long-overdue kiss.

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roo-bastmoon · 2 years ago

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The Long Game

First, let's acknowledge some major mismanagement by BigHit. Then, let's talk about what I think *might possibly* be their long game.

These are just guesses I have right now--I'm not stating facts and my opinions are subject to change as new info becomes available. But come with me for a few minutes...

In early 2022, Jimin's mail was "omitted" four times by BigHit employees, which lead to late insurance premium payments, which led to an on-paper "seizure" of his apartment. The press sat on that news for three months until the day his With You OST dropped and the scandal overshadowed his release. Jimin went to ground, avoided all social media for months. At this time, Jimin's personal information was leaked on the internet, and that was the last time we saw Jikook hang out alone that we know of.

Now in 2023, since Jimin's album FACE dropped, we already know about the sabotaged sales and streams by Hanteo, Billboard, YouTube, and Spotify. There was the issue with his in-ears not working properly during an encore. On top of all that drama, BigHit didn't get all the physicals shipped in time, they didn't playlist his songs for several days, they never sent his songs to radio (that we can see), they made one tweet to acknowledge Jimin's #1 on Hot100 but nothing else--not even a cake like the other solo albums got, they didn't let him film more than two music videos when they did that for their new groups, the press releases about their stocks going up after Hot100 also credited their new groups, and Jimin only had 9 days of uninterrupted promo between other members' works.

Now I am not a conspiracy theorist. I well understand that the military enlistment compressed schedules, and that each member had say in their creative works and promotions. I'm not a manti. But none of the above is a good look. Add up all those fumbles together, and you could make a solid case for mismanagement.

And now today, we see PD Bang on the cover of Billboard (which, OF COURSE, mentioned Blackpink in the same breath).

JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THE STORY IS BEING SHAPED FOR AMERICAN READERS. You see what's happening here? You think SM is gonna get a cover story for their side of the corporate shakedown?

And then there's this little gem:

"If your question is about the possibility of creating an artist like BTS again, the answer is no. However, if you were to ask whether there would be a K-pop artist from HYBE that tops the Billboard Hot 100 chart, my answer would be yes. [Jimin became the first BTS member to achieve this as a solo act on April 3 when his single “Like Crazy” debuted at No. 1.] The experience of managing BTS and operating different labels gave us access to powerful networks, infrastructures and experiences. With these, HYBE can repeat its remarkable results with the help of talented artists.

Okay so before everyone starts rioting online, take a moment, pause, reflect, think about what all might be going on here, behind the scenes, in this very political world of the music business.

Do I think Bang PD screwed Jimin over to score points with Billboard? No, I do not. But neither do I think Jimin's solo effort is anyone's priority but Jimin's.

"HYBE is primarily focusing on leveraging its accumulated expertise in managing and producing acts that consist of multiple members, rather than solo artists or mixed-gender groups in K-pop."

I think no one ever expected Jimin to make it to #1 on Hot100 and industry insiders felt pretty sure the West wouldn't let him stay in the top 10 the next week. Why? Well, partially racism. But mostly it's bad for their bottom line.

If your entire business model is that people pay for radio play and that gets them on your private chart and the private chart leads to more advertisers and awards... and then someone comes along and DOESN'T pay to play and gets to the top of your chart? Nobody needs you. So you HAVE to sabotage them. You absolutely have to change your rules. (I'm just sitting here waiting for Jimin to release his other songs so that Billboard can change their rules to say you can't be on Hot100 if your name starts with J- and ends with -imin.)

Now, it might have been satisfying for us as fans to see BigHit come out swinging and put Billboard on blast for his sake and ours. But they have ZERO. LEGAL. RECOURSE.

Billboard is privately owned and they can make whatever rules they want. They are part of a larger media company that has connections to every media outlet; no one is gonna publish an exposé any time soon, I promise you. We got exactly ONE English-speaking website to write about it and that was it. Everyone in the industry knows what is going on, and no one has the power to do anything much about it.

So what does that mean for the future?

Well... Bang PD just recently paid a HUGE mark up of $26 million to buy Trevor Noah's home out in LA.

And now he's on the cover of Billboard. WHY? Neither of these things will result in any immediate payout for him.

It's a long game.

And frankly, a very old and honored way of doing business. It's how they went up against the big three and it's how they are gonna go up against the West, I feel it in my gut.

Bang PD is getting a home on US soil. He will be paying US taxes. He's making in-roads by being nice with Billboard folks. He's making contacts; he's already had phone calls with Pharrell and Bieber and Grande and Laroi. Some of those are already shaping into collabs. We already know Hybe has set up shop in the US with Scooter at the helm.

Meanwhile, BigHit is adjusting in real time to the new rules around the charts (culling is happening to Yoongi too, so they changed up the check-out process of the BTS US Store). Suddenly there's plenty of focus on promoting via TikTok and other viral social media. They are dipping their toe into AI. They are discussing their own in-house ticketing option. This company is looking toward the future and hedging its bets.

Do I know with any certainty what's up their sleeve?

Absolutely not.

Do I trust any corporation very much?

Nope.

Do I have faith in BTS?

Probably more than anything else in my life, at this point.

So while I have no insider info, I just feel like the company is making very intentional and methodic footholds into the West. They are not complaining or screaming or suing or threatening anyone. They are not badmouthing competitors or whining about unfair deals. They are laying ground on complicated, political in-roads, one step at a time.

The Expo is in 2030. I'd wager by that time, BTS will have conquered the West and have some radio play.

And I think the company believes that in order to do that, they have to make their new groups profitable while BTS serves. They have to survive for the next two years.

When BTS is back, and their dues have been paid, I think they will be unstoppable. I hope they get to work on solo projects AND group projects. I think they will take over every corner of the world, if managed properly.

They just need to do it in a way that also assuages the Western music industry. The American Powers That Be have a chokehold on music and they will demand their pound of flesh somehow.

I strongly suspect BTS will never pay to play. But they will build relationships and find a way to become so interwoven in the cultural fabric that to deny them a place in Western spaces is to be left behind. And they will do it politely, and gently, and come out smelling like a rose.

So before you go off on social media and scream the walls down about neglect (and there WAS some, in my opinion) and abuse (we don't really know that), just take a moment to consider--if they had no legal recourse against Billboard, how can they beat them at their own game?

The best way to defeat an enemy is to make them a friend.

I'm just guessing here, but I think if fans stay loyal, BTS just might have the last laugh, here. I think they got radio scared as hell.

It sucks that Jimin didn't get fair treatment at this time. He is my bias and I feel it like a knife to my own heart. But he DID make history with his #1 and they can never take it away.

So I say give it time. All the people sniggering at him and BTS right now are going to sing a different tune in the future.

My best guess is that this is a long game, and it will require sacrifices that are totally unfair, but in the end... well, as long as BTS has ARMY, they cannot be denied.

Apobangpo.

#jimin #bts

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foxcort · 1 month ago

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fanfic writing tag game

thank you so much for tagging me @sad-scarred-sassy + @achaotichuman 💚 these dash games are always sm fun!

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing.

So, I use to write in chronological order, which seriously seriously killed my ability to finish anything (I'm still trying to distance myself from this method), but then @highlordofkrypton posted about her method and I've been using 'dump documents' since and its slowly restoring my ability to stick to a project. So the revised version of my process is whenever I get an idea, I word vomit onto a 'dump document' until all the ideas, scenes, dynamics, quotes, vibes, images are physically on the document. Basically so they are out of my head and physically in front of me. Then I go through it, piecing things together and adding transitions and in-betweens until I have my first draft. Then I revise again and again until I get a final draft (I normally go through at least a second draft and sometimes a third draft). Then I post to the public! Sometimes, after I post I'll notice spelling mistakes or awkward sentence flow and I do end up making minor edits.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Oh, a plotter for sure. Sometimes I plot so much I get too burned out to actually write lol. But I like to plot because I feel like my endings are more satisfying when I know where they're going.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Ambience, Lo-Fi or anything by Gibran Alcocer.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

Green tea or water.

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

Specifically, the nesta/tamlin drabble of my comforter drabble collection. It's the first official neslin I ever published and although I don't have more than two neslin published, I really really really love them as a ship and as individuals and writing them always makes me so happy. That drabble in particular developed into a much bigger idea that I'm currently working on, and it's just one of my favorite things I've ever created.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

Maybe moonvine? It's an au concept of feylin in which the Archerons are Dusk Court princesses and there's a peek into what feylin's relationship would look like if they were both High Fae and running in the same social circles.

Do you have any advice for new writers?

Post the thing. You never know how many people out there will adore your work if you never give it a try. Even if it gets zero notes, view, comments, you still accomplished the very difficult task of writing everything down and posting it. And you never know who will love it days, weeks, months, years from now.

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

Characterization. I've read so many wonderful fics where the authors know how to write these ensemble casts of characters and simultaneously make each and every one of them unique in their voice, and I'm trying to teach myself how to do that.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

Oh, okay, so Rhysand. 👀 Nothing published yet, but I'm also writing him how I wish he were written. Like fully accepting he has to do shitty things to get the best results for everyone, and he owns up to it. It's fun. And the dialogue I can pull from him!! It's so so fun.

tagging: atp I think everyone's already done this? if you haven't, take this as me tagging you and do it! 💚

#dash games

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my-mt-heart · 1 year ago

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Since reviews of le spinoff S1 are dropping tonight/tomorrow, I wanted to go over my plans and expectations for the next 6 weeks one last time. I figured it’d be easier to put it all in one place rather than answer a bunch of individual asks.

First of all, I’m not watching. And I know I’ve said that so many times, it must be annoying at this point, but in case anyone thought I was bluffing or might change my mind, nope. I know what Daryl Dixon represents to me and I want to hold onto that as best as I can. How do I know he’s going to be retconned? Because the promotion is telling me so. Everything’s different? Don’t need to watch the flagship show to follow Daryl’s story? Daryl can build his own family just like Rick? He can be loyal to anyone he meets? Wanting to get back to his real family is “the wrong reason” for his mission? There was no plan for Daryl and Carol to go to New Mexico together? Get off the stage, Greg. All of that is clearly trying to appeal to new viewers or Norman stans who will follow him anywhere, not the built-in audience.

I started the campaign for Melissa because as JDM and Greg Nicotero are once again proving, not nearly enough people were on her side. I want to continue showing my support, and I don’t believe watching the first season of a show she was unfairly pushed out of helps me do that. There are a few people I trust to give me their thoughts on it. One of them is @lighteneverything whose reviews I will be sure to share every week. I’ll talk about anything Carol/Caryl related if it comes up, and I’ll share my own thoughts on some big picture stuff when the season is over.

As far as Carol/Caryl go, I expect very little. I think, based on the promotion or lack thereof, AMC is putting all of their stock in Carol’s appearance alone, meaning they want the relief of seeing her again to distract us from the fact that her role in the first season—despite possible vague references here and there—is pretty inconsequential. I think what little screentime she has will be a cold comfort considering the show was supposed to be hers too. But I’ll wait to find out what that actually looks like before I say more 🙄

I expect SM to be an absolute nightmare. The media and the fans who love to hate Carol/Caryl will have a field day with everything we find triggering and reviews will lean into the positives. I think the ratings for the pilot will be significantly better than DC’s, but we’ll see what happens after that.

I’m saying all of this so that hopefully anyone who’s nervous won’t be caught off guard. I know Caryl’s story is important and deeply personal to so many of us, so fuck all of the entitled assholes who used this show for their own purposes instead of catering to an audience that’s been loyal to them for over a decade. Please reach out to me if you ever need to vent. If you think the show is going to be enjoyable for you, then you can ignore me. I hope you get what you want out of it.

My hope is that we’ll be able to put this mess behind us soon, so we can just look forward to the stories that Carol, Daryl, Caryl, and all of their fans really deserve.

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

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btsqualityy · 2 years ago

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Y.O.U (Years Of Us), Chapter 4: Decisions Made Out of Hurt

Jimin x half black/half Korean OC

Genre/Rating: 21+, established relationship, idol!AU, smut, angst, and fluff

Summary: Kamaria gets back to work on her upcoming album, runs into Jimin, and has her perspective (slightly) altered after a conversation with him.

Warnings: Mention of drug addiction and a rehab visit.

WC: 4.1K

Song Of The Chapter: Demi Lovato ft Lil Wayne- Lonely

Two weeks later, Kamaria got out of her car at the HYBE building, making sure to lock the doors before she walked inside. After promotions for ‘Taming’ wrapped up, Kamaria was determined to get back into the studio. It had been two years since her fourth album and she had missed performing more than anything in the world.

Well, almost anything.

Once she had checked into the building and allowed the elevator to take her to the seventh floor, she instantly went to the fourth door on the right side of the hallway, typing the code into the keypad and waiting for the door to beep twice before pulling it open.

“Well, well, well,” Yoongi smiled as he turned around in his chair and watched Kamaria step into his studio. “Long time, no see.”

“I just saw you in November, at MMA remember?” Kamaria chuckled. “Don’t start this dramatic shit.”

“What can I say? I have a flair for it,” he laughed, standing up and waiting until she had stepped closer to pull her into a tight hug. “How are you, kiddo?”

“I’m ok, can’t complain,” she shrugged as she hugged him back. “How are you?”

“Busy with work, as always,” he joked. “Here, have a seat.” Kamaria did as he instructed, taking a seat in the chair that had been placed next to his before she set her purse on top of the nearby table. “So, how’s the album coming along so far?”

“Well, I think I have about 50% of it done so far but as I started to think about what else I wanted to include on the album, your name popped into my mind,” she explained. “We haven’t worked on anything together since my first album and Lonely is still one of my favorites.”

“It’s one of mines too,” Yoongi smiled. “But uh, are you sure about us working together? I mean, there’s a reason why we haven’t collaborated since your first album all those years ago.”

“You just had to go and bring that shit up,” Kamaria huffed.

.........................................................

5 Years Ago

After fulfilling her contractual obligations to SM Entertainment, Kamaria had been looking for a change. Though the company was amazing to her and had been an amazing fit for her mother, she had realized that she wanted more creative control when it came to what messages she was putting into her music. Through her friendship with Jimin, she became acquainted with Bang Sihyuk who welcomed her to BigHit Entertainment with open arms.

“I have to say, Kamaria, I cannot wait to get into the studio with you,” Bang PD confessed as the two of them walked down one of the numerous hallways in the HYBE building together after she signed her artist contract. “I hope that doesn’t make me sound too excited.”

“It’s fine because I’m just as excited,” Kamaria laughed. “Some of my favorite KPop songs ever have been ones that you wrote.”

“I’d be lying if I didn’t say that makes me blush a bit,” he joked, making Kamaria laugh again. As the two of them walked, they heard a sudden commotion coming from the artists’ lounge and as Kamaria listened closer, she realized that one of the raised voices was coming from Jimin.

“Um, sorry to have to end this on such short notice but I think I should go see what’s going on,” Kamaria said.

“I think so too,” Bang PD nodded. “I’ll have Nari-ssi get in touch with you with your new schedule for recording.”

“Yes, thank you,” she nodded, doing a light bow before she rushed away from her new boss and as she rushed down the hallway, she could hear the voices of the other Bangtan members getting louder and louder. By the time she made it to the open doorway, nothing could’ve prepared her for what she saw.

Jimin and Yoongi had their arms wrapped around each other, trying to wrestle one another down onto the ground and throwing blows at whatever inches of skin that they could reach. The other members were left trying to break the two of them up although if Kamaria wasn’t mistaken, some of them looked like they wanted to let the fight take place.

“What the fuck are you guys’ doing?!” Kamaria shouted as she rushed forwards, instantly going over to Jimin and pulling on his shirt along with Jungkook and Taehyung. At the sound of her voice, Jimin released his grip on Yoongi and allowed himself to be pulled away. “What the hell is going on?!”

“This dumb ass has decided not to resign,” Yoongi growled and Kamaria’s eyes widened because Jimin hadn’t said anything to her about that.

“Are you serious?” She gasped before looking over at Jimin. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to do more solo work and I can’t do that with the group constantly hanging over my head,” he explained.

“Say it like that again and I’ll kill you,” Yoongi threatened and Jin and Hobi tightened their grips on his arms just to be safe.

“Jimin decided to tell us about his decision after we’ve already started contract negotiations as seven members,” Namjoon elaborated. “We were very clear on our plans before Jin hyung and Yoongi hyung went to the military so we’re not understanding the sudden change.”

“The sudden change came when he had his solo debut and started smelling his own shit,” Yoongi spat.

“I haven’t been smelling my own shit,” Jimin shot back.

“Actually, you have been,” Hobi interjected. “You’ve been acting every different every since ‘Here I Am’ came out and every solo comeback you’ve had since. Nothing against you personally but it’s the truth.”

“Maybe because I want to explore more of my own artistry,” Jimin explained. “I don’t want to be held back by my commitments to the fucking group, like I have been for years now.”

“We were holding you back?!” Yoongi snorted as he began to struggle against Jin and Hobi’s hold. “You wouldn’t be shit without us and you fucking know it!”

“There’s only three of us that pack in the fucking stadiums and it’s definitely not you, hyung,” Jimin said mockingly. “So I think it’s actually the other way around.”

“Ungrateful son of a bitch!” Yoongi roared before breaking free of the hold on his arms and charging towards Jimin again, literally tackling him onto the ground. This time, it took the members much longer to break the two of them apart while Kamaria was forced to do nothing but watch and call out to Jimin, hoping that he’d rein himself back in.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Jimin hollered as he got up off of the ground once Yoongi had finally been pulled off of him. “I fucking quit!”

“Jimin hyung,” Jungkook called out but Jimin brushed him off before he stormed out of the lounge.

“I’ll talk to him,” Kamaria said before rushing out behind her best friend. Once she caught up to him, Jimin didn’t stop to hear her out and even eight hours later, as he paced back and forth in Kamaria’s apartment, he still refused to see reason.

“Listen, I understand where you were coming from,” Kamaria said from her place on the couch. “Bangtan has always been insular and it’s hard to go back to that once you’ve opened up more.”

“Ex-fucking-actly.”

“But couldn’t you just communicate that to them without all the extra aggressiveness?” She wondered.

“They wouldn’t hear me out, Bubs because they never do!” Jimin exclaimed. “I don’t want to be just ‘Jiminie from BTS’ anymore. Once I started making my own music, I just saw everything that I could be and it’s so much more than I could’ve ever dreamed.”

“And you really think Bangtan is holding you back from that?”

“I do,” he confirmed with a nod. “And I know myself. Despite what happened today, I do love my members and I’d do anything for them but I also know that my loyalty to them is holding me back. Think about it. Yoongi hyung’s been back from the military for six months and what I have done solo since then?”

“Nothing but you told me you guys had discussed that,” Kamaria pointed out.

“More like the hyungs discussed it and I just agreed to it,” he corrected her. “I’ve grown so much as an artist in the last three years and I don’t want to lose the momentum that I have going.”

“And that’s worth you imploding a 15 year friendship?” She questioned. “Because of your fucking ego, basically?”

“Call it what you want but I’ve made my decision,” Jimin shrugged as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small pill bottle. “I’m going to finish another mini album and promote that for the next six months before I go to do my military service. Once I’m out, the only thing I’ll have to worry about is myself and my music.”

Kamaria didn’t say anything else, instead just watching worriedly as he pulled a pill out of the bottle and swallowed it down dry.

.........................................................

“Look, the only reason why I haven’t worked with you was out of respect for my prior relationship,” Kamaria explained. “Which you can’t blame me for. I mean, you gave him a black eye and a bloodied lip.”

“Which I’d do again in a heartbeat because he fucking deserved it for being a prick,” Yoongi chuckled. “But it must feel good to get rid of the old ball and chain, huh? I never did know what you saw in his ass.”

“Anyways,” she rolled her eyes. “Let’s get to work, if you remember how to do that.”

“Oh, I have a whole folder of beats that are awaiting your gorgeous voice,” he smiled as he turned to face his desktop. “Let’s do it, kiddo.”

Once the session started, Kamaria found herself easily slipping into the routine. Making music was like therapy for her and after the last few months, she fucking needed it.

A few hours later, Kamaria stood next to the door of Yoongi’s studio while he locked up.

“I’d forgotten how fucking good you are,” Yoongi chuckled. “I can’t believe we wrote and laid the entire song down today.”

“Me either but I love it,” she gushed happily. “I definitely want it on the album.”

“Good, as long as you don’t try to rope me into performing it with you,” he said as he turned to face her, motioning with his hand for her to lead the way down the hall.

“Oh come on,” she giggled. “We’ve never performed together before and it would be fun.”

“Pay me enough and we can talk,” he chuckled.

“Pay you enough for what?” Jimin wondered as he stepped out from around a corner, smirking when Kamaria and Yoongi simultaneously rolled their eyes at the sight of him. “Hello Bubs.”

“Hi,” Kamaria deadpanned.

“So, she’s the only person you see?” Yoongi asked.

“Hello hyung,” Jimin smiled but Kamaria could tell that it was completely fake. “How are you?”

“Eat a dick,” Yoongi snapped before turning to glance at Kamaria. “I’m going home. Call me if you need anything, yeah?”

“Ok, and thanks for today,” Kamaria smiled softly, giving him a quick hug before he continued to walk down the hall away from them. Once he was out of earshot, Jimin narrowed his eyes at her.

“You’re working with Yoongi now?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m no longer with you and don’t have to worry about bruising your ego anymore,” Kamaria shrugged.

“Nice to know whose side you’re on,” he snickered.

“I was never on anyone’s side in that and you know it. I thought all of you were being idiots,” she reminded him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She moved to walk past him but when she did, he reached out and grabbed onto her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. “You know, you’re making a really bad habit of grabbing me and my fist is just aching for a face to punch these days.”

“Can we talk?” Jimin wondered. “Like, really talk?”

“If you ask me about being your fucking surrogate again, I swear-,”

“No, not about that,” he shook his head. “I want to explain things to you from my side. About Hye-ja, why I did what I did, everything.”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” She chuckled in disbelief. “You made it very clear who and what you wanted when you married her.”

“But don’t act like it hasn’t always been you,” Jimin stated firmly.

“It’s hard to believe that when you’re sporting another woman’s ring on your finger.”

“Have I ever lied to you?” He questioned and that had Kamaria pausing for thought. Jimin was a lot of things: an asshole, egotistical, somewhat clingy, and selfish. However, the man had never lied to her and she couldn’t deny that.

“No.”

“I know I’ve hurt you. I can see it in your eyes,” Jimin murmured. “The least I can do is be honest with you, if you’ll let me?” As Kamaria looked into his eyes, those brown eyes that she had found herself getting lost in so many times before, she felt that familiar feeling washing over her again.

“Ok,” she agreed. “When and where?”

“If you’re not busy, I’d like to do it tonight,” he told her. “Say, my place, 7:00pm?”

“I’ll be there,” Kamaria agreed, her breathing hitching in her throat when Jimin suddenly leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss onto her forehead before pulling back.

“See you then, Bubs,” he smiled before turning and walking away.

“I’m such an idiot,” Kamaria muttered to herself, grabbing her sunglasses from her bag and slipping them onto her face before making her way out of the HYBE building.

.........................................................

Later that night, Kamaria found herself pulling her car up to the code box of Jimin’s house. His house could really be considered a mansion by modern standards, two stories with five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a home studio, a large backyard with a pool, and even a full scale movie room.

Rolling down the driver’s side window, Kamaria reached out and quickly pressed the numbers ‘514′ onto the keypad, her eyes widening when the gate beeped before it slowly began to open. 514 was the date of their anniversary and she was somewhat, but not completely, surprised that Jimin hadn’t gotten around to changing it.

As she pulled up the driveway and parked her car right in front of the front steps, she had barely gotten her foot out of the car when the front door to the house swung open.

“Bubs!” Jimin called and in spite of everything, Kamaria found herself smiling as she walked up the steps.

“Hey.”

“You look amazing,” he praised and Kamaria rolled her eyes.

“I’m wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt,” she scoffed. “Be for real.”

“I am,” he huffed, opening the door wider and allowing her to step inside. “And you have your hair in my favorite style.” Kamaria smiled at that, knowing Jimin well enough to know that he went weak in the knees anytime she had braids in her hair and especially when she put them up into a ponytail on top of her head.

“Look, you wanted to talk so let’s talk,” Kamaria said once she had taken off her jacket and gotten her shoes off of her feet.

“You’re not hungry?” Jimin asked as he began to walk backwards towards the kitchen. “I have food on the stove. Come on.”

“Jimin,” she whined but when he continued to walk away from her, she just sighed heavily before following behind him. Once she made it into the large kitchen, Jimin was already in front of the stove stirring something in a large pot so Kamaria walked over to him and hopped up to sit on the counter next to him.

“So, where’s Hye-ja?” She couldn’t help but to inquire.

“Not here.”

“Is she gonna be here? I mean, she does live here,” Kamaria pointed out.

“No, she doesn’t and she never has,” Jimin confessed, throwing her a quick glance before refocusing his gaze on the pot.

“What? So the two of you have been living separately since you got married?”

“Yep. She said something to the effect of ‘”I’ve worked too hard to just give up my house and plus, I don’t even like the design of your house”,” he recited.

“She doesn’t like this house?” Kamaria gasped. “It’s gorgeous. I remember when you bought it.”

“I’d hope you would remember because you’re the one that convinced me to get it,” Jimin chuckled. “Pretty sure you threatened my life about it too.”

“Hey, a good piece of real estate makes me passionate,” she joked. A comfortable silence settled over them then, and Kamaria took the opportunity to look inside of the simmering pot. “Uh, Jimin? What is this?”

“Kimchi jjigae.”

“You sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” he huffed.

“It doesn’t look like it,” she observed.

“Looks can be deceiving sometimes,” Jimin smiled. “Trust me, it’ll taste the way you taught me to make it.”

“I still don't’ know how you used to cook for me so much but had no idea how to make kimchi jjigae,” Kamaria giggled. “And it was so easy!”

“Hey, that wasn’t my fault,” he shot back. “I had my parents, you, and the hyungs so I had no need to learn.”

“You’re spoiled.”

“Loved, actually and there’s a difference.”

“Whatever,” she smiled. Not too much later, the stew was done and the two of them were sat together at the table placed in Jimin’s dining room, their full bowls, one glass of wine and one cup of water in front of them.

“So,” Kamaria spoke up, wanting to get right down to things because she wanted answers. “How did you and Hye-ja even meet?”

“Well, I’ve always known of her,” Jimin began. “I’d see her around at different events and award shows, stuff like that. I even did an OST for a drama that she was in back before I did my enlistment. She used to flirt with me whenever she saw me but I never paid it any attention because I was in love with you, even before we officially got together three years ago.”

“When you and I broke up, I was heartbroken and I had holed myself up in this house,” he continued. “Taehyung was the one who broke me out of my funk and dragged me out to Hye-ja’s latest premiere. When I saw her again, she was just as flirty and this time, I welcomed it. She gave me her number and we ended up talking on the phone every night for weeks afterward. She gave me attention and made me feel wanted, which is the exact opposite of how I had felt when you and I ended things.”

“As we talked, it just seemed like we wanted a lot of the same things,” he told her. “She’s the same age as me and it seemed like we were on the same timeline when it came to getting married and starting a family so I thought it could work. Admittedly, I also didn’t want to miss my opportunity to have the family that I’ve always dreamed of and since it seemed like you were really done with me, I took my chance. I asked her to marry me and she accepted. We got married in Tokyo a month after her movie premiere.”

“And where does the whole surrogate thing come in at?” Kamaria wondered.

“Once we got back to Korea and Hye-ja saw some of the bad press we got for a ‘fake and rushed marriage’, she decided that she wanted to hold off on having kids for the time being,” Jimin explained. “And after that, it seemed like everything just unraveled. We have more differences than I thought and we barely see each other because she’s obsessed with working.”

“Wow,” Kamaria murmured, slowly dragging her spoon through her stew. Although she was still angry as hell at the way Jimin had gone about things and how he had let them play out, she still could understand his point of view. He had made a decision out of pain, only to have it all blow up in his face.

“Tell me about it,” he chuckled.

“I feel for you Jimin, I really do but I never told you that we were totally done,” she pointed out.

“Can you blame me for thinking that after I woke up to all of your stuff gone and only a note left behind?” Jimin scoffed. “You said you needed space.”

“And I did need space.”

“Between that and all the times I proposed to you, only to be turned down, what was I supposed to think?”

“Your definition of asking someone to marry you changes everyday,” Kamaria responded. “Randomly asking me over cereal in the morning or over the phone or when I’m mad at you because I caught you popping pills is not a proposal.”

“....You didn’t have to throw that in my face,” Jimin grumbled.

“And I’m not trying to but it’s the truth,” she stated firmly. “You had an addiction issue and I know you went to rehab and have been fine since you got out...right?”

“Right.”

“But it just made me rethink everything,” she finished. “I wanted everything you did Jimin and you know that. Marriage, kids, the whole shebang but I was not going to do it while you were using drugs and then fresh into recovery, especially not after what I’ve been through with my mama. I love you but I refuse to love you to death, and that’s something I’m standing on.”

“I understand Bubs,” Jimin said, reaching across the table with his hands out. Hesitantly, Kamaria set down her spoon and set her hands in Jimin’s, allowing him to squeeze them tightly. “When I came back from rehab, it seemed like everything was fine between us so I assumed that our relationship was one that I wouldn’t have to worry about mending. I guess I was wrong, huh?”

“I-” Kamaria began to say but she was cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing followed by a loud voice calling Jimin’s name. Kamaria instantly snatched her hands out of Jimin’s, her eyes widening when she saw the person that the voice belonged to walk into the dining room.

Kim Hye-ja was stunning and even Kamaria could admit that. She stepped into the room dressed immaculately in a light blue two piece suit, Jimmy Choo heels glistening in the light. Her long black hair was slicked back away from her face, showing off her stunning facial structure.

“Jiminie!” Hye-ja exclaimed and Jimin stood up then, opening his arms just in time for Hye-ja to crash into him in a tight hug. Kamaria couldn’t help but to grimace and she had to physically turn her head when Hye-ja kissed her husband firmly.

“What are you doing here, Hye?” Jimin asked. “I thought you were going to stay in Jeju after your photoshoot.”

“I was but I decided to come back to Seoul so that we could be together,” she smiled before looking over at Kamaria. “Oh my gosh, you’re Kamaria.”

“Hi,” Kamaria smiled softly and Hye-ja rushed over to her side of the table, bowing lightly and grabbing onto her hand to shake it in greeting.

“It’s so amazing to finally meet you!” Hye-ja chirped happily. “I know you’re one of Jimin’s best friends.”

“Yeah,” Kamaria nodded. “It’s nice to meet you too, Hye-ja-ssi.”

“Please, you don’t have to be so formal with me,” she insisted. “Any friend of Jimin is a friend of mines.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Kamaria replied.

“I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?” Hye-ja questioned suddenly after seeing the bowls of food and Kamaria’s glass of wine. “I know you don’t get to see each other often.”

Oh, if only she knew.

“Nah, you’re fine,” Jimin spoke up. “I ran into Bub-, Kamaria at the HYBE building when I went to record today and invited her over.”

“But I was actually just on my way out,” Kamaria announced, standing up from her chair.

“Well, we have to plan something soon so that you and I can get to know each other more,” Hye-ja suggested.

“Sure,” Kamaria smiled falsely. “I’ll see you around, Jimin.”

“Let me walk you out,” he offered but Kamaria shook her head.

“I’m good, don’t worry. Stay with Hye-ja-ssi, I’m sure you guys have a lot of catching up to do.”

“That we do,” Hye-ja smiled as she wrapped her arms around Jimin. Quickly making her way to the front door, she stuffed her feet into her shoes and grabbed her jacket and purse, holding both in her hands as she rushed out of the front door. Switching on the ignition and throwing the car into drive, she fled down the driveway, flying through the gates and out onto the streets of Seoul.

“Every time,” she muttered to herself. “Every fucking time.”

.........................................................

Tag List: @dunixxd @namaslaylife @shabbamadapot

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bangtanbathhouse #bts jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x oc #bts x reader #bts x oc #jimin fluff #jimin smut #jmin angst #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts scenarios #park jimin

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justapixelthing · 1 year ago

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Do you ever have moments where you hate your favorite ship? (Another Oot Zelink rant - electric boogaloo)

Here we go again I guess. For some context: I grew up with Ocarina of Time. I played the game since before I could even read (I was like 4 for sure). I had kind of a rough childhood so for me Oot was an escape. Link was my childhood friend. I identified with him but at the same time saw him as my closest companion.

And well to little me there was no doubt that Link and Zelda were a thing. Same with Mario and Peach (SM 64 was there at the same time for me). Like it was clear as day to me. I was a child and it shaped the way I would end up liking my relationships. A hero and the princess. And I even ended up getting my hero in real life and he likes to call me his princess. We've been engaged for a while now.

So because I grew up with it, before I even understood what shipping was, it was more than a ship to me. It was my childhood. My reality.

You also have to realize that before TP came out and even for several years after TP was there, oot Zelink was also still very popular.

Then closer to today, we have things like Hyrule Historia and.... Zelda youtubers all saying the same thing of how the Hero of Time canonically marries Malon (which ... is still a theory. Like youtubers saying it's what happens and not marking it as theory doesn't make it canon) and the majority of the fandom treats it as fact. And okay, I get why the theory is popular, though I still think it should be treated as theory.

But now you have everyone going against you. Oot Zelink content is most of the time depressing tragic and painful content. What once used to be stories of love and peace faded out for the most part. When you write a fic about oot Zelink being happy together or make art about it, people will tell you 'but Link banged Malon' and worse things. Like I'm not here to tell you Malink is impossible, but I do think (and I will die on that hill) that oot Zelink IS possible. But then I get insulted over it. Hell someone called me the T slur over it.

I'm not blind to the hints, but these two are engraved into my mind. And sometimes I actually DO wish I could stop shipping them and wish they would stop affecting me. But they don't because they were part of my growing up process. Now when I see content about them, things like simple tweets or opinions or even just Oot content in general, it can put me into total agony. Oot used to be one of my favorite games and now just looking at it can ruin my mood and put me at unease. All the hero's shade content basically feels as If I'm watching my childhood friend die over and over again (which is whole different topic in itself) and all the tragic oot Zelink content rips my heart out. All this also made me feel unable to really like TP, which is a shame, as it introduced some of my favorite things.

What also hurts is, that as a child I really liked Malon. She was one of the things in my life that inspired me to sing. But this whole situation and the way several fans are has made me detest her. I try to like her but I basically have to force myself to do so.

I'm never going to attack you for having a different ship than mine (unless its illegal). But this situation is really hard on me. I wish I could agree with Malinkers but I probably never will.

Who knows, maybe I am delusional. But seeing as Nintendo never has and likely never will confirm Malink and has pushed oot Zelink (Oot 3d promotional manga? Approving of the mangas that push oot Zelink, which includes the TP manga? Miyamoto literally saying he'd like to see Zelda as Links girlfriend in oot?! The whole ending of the game literally being set up like a romance film with a break up and a reunion!?) you can't tell me Nintendo never intended anything romantic to come from them. And using this I still feel in the right to ship them in a non AU way.

But because of how the situation is, I no longer like Oot as much as I used to. It was once the greatest game ever to me and I still objectively consider it as such, but it isn't as it used to be for me. Sometimes I even wish It didn't exist (though that would be a great injustice to the world if it didn't), because it upsets me too much. I hate seeing my childhood friend die and not get what he deserves. I detest the tragic oot Zelink path (though I do not mean to tell anyone that they shouldn't like it - this is just my personal experience and I get why others like it).

I do like some other things that are tragic - I mean one of my favorite films is Titanic, but I guess I grew up with those things already being tragic (imagine Titanic not being tragic! A literal historical disaster!)

It is shocking how much a simple thing like a ship and a character's fate can affect you mentally. Things that are part of your childhood, even fictional stories, can shape you quite strongly.

So yes, sometimes I hate this ship. Sometimes I love it, but when I love it, I usually need to be far away from the fandom.

I wonder if anyone else feels that way about this or another ship?

#pixel rants #oot zelink #oot #text post #why is a ship doing this to me #this is maybe too personal #so I might delete #shipping is serious business #shipping is a pain #I wish I could stop #My degree is half psychology #so I'm sort of analyzing my own psyche

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serafilms · 10 months ago

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just some of my fav content that kpop (boy) groups have put out (very specific!!!)

i spend many an hour on it (like actually just one hour) because i don’t want to work on my wips!!!

nct 127 hit the states: haechan x dallas

HAECHAN SILVER HAIR HAECHAN SILVER HAIR i will never shut up. this and purple and we go up brown/rainbow are his best looks idgaf. they’re just soo cute here and having so much fun and i can’t even believe how fun it looks :(( i wanna have a day like this

nct 127 hit the states: mark x vancouver

such a beautiful scenery and seeing mark be so happy in his hometown w the rest of 127 is so cute. taeil and jungwoo are so funny here too

boynextdoor pretty u cover

SLAYED! nothing more to say. i love bnd performances they ate down period.

beomgyu kids’ café on workman

the editing is so funny in this video PLS and the way the little girls all hated him but the boys were obsessed with him 😭 the café staff are so fun and nice too 👍 i love beomgyu sm

nct dream candy mv

no explanation required. once you candy you never stop candying. the cutest music video EVER i love it so much. nct dream mv’s always EAT. hello future, we go up, chewing gum, go, life is still going on (track video but still cute), hot sauce

txt lo$er=lover office attack version

so creative and fun and they look so good 😋

nct dream rooftop fight

so glad they actually did this bc i was waiting for it for so long 😭 they hyped it up for so many years did NOT disappoint. nct will never not be funny.

stray kids fancy cover

THE WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS HAPPENED UNTIL JUST NOW WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. omg we moved on too soon

boynextdoor funnextdoor

i’m actually in the process of watching it rn but i’m actually so amazed at how genuine and funny they are?? usually a lot of groups (excluding survival show groups) take a while to warm up to the cameras and talk to them and be natural around them and their members in front of them, but you can really tell how comfortable bnd are with each other and even though they’re warming up the the cameras, they’re so cute about it and so natural and outgoing that it’s not awkward at all and so fun to watch! and on that note….

boynextdoor what? door!

they’re so funny omg also bc why are hybe editors so slay?? will never stop promoting bnd (+zb1!!! love riize too but they have sufficient hype tbh i need bnd appreciation!! 5th gen boy groups let’s gooooo)

zerobaseone zbtv

ok so this list actually isn’t specific anymore but can u blame me. they’re so funny in all of the episodes how am i to choose just one. zb1 are quite literally one of the absolute funniest groups I’ve ever seen. love them sm PLEASE stan before they disband 😞

eunchae star diary with sunghoon and heeseung

EUNCHAE !!!!! she’s so cute i love eunchae star diary 😭 this was more awkward than the jake ni-ki one tbh but it was really cute too 👍 and the way sunghoon kept trying to weasel out the tea from her like leave that girl alone hoon 😭😭

honourable mentions to the kyujin and hiyyih episodes too!! bc it’s so fun to see eunchae with her friends

en o’clock episode 12

the one where they did like the high up line training course thing idk what it’s called and they were wearing camo print like military ish stuff idk man but it’s so funny and their early days r so cute

en o’clock episodes 32 and 33

the irl among us episodes 😭😭

boys planet jelly pop

MY GODDDDDD JELLY POP ZHANG HAO I LOVE U SM. i wish he liked women and was 4 years younger and went to my uni. i purchased many zhang hao pc’s recently. jelly pop my #7 most played song in spotify. i watched it too many times. saved so many edits. ilysm king.

txt idol human theatre when they went to that house

the way the managers lifted taehyun out of the pool gets me every single time 😭😭😭

txt idol human theatre during blue hour era

my fav idol human theatre episode EVER. so funny and i love blue hour era sm‼️

stray kids family 3rd anniversary

skz with wigs will never not be iconic. and why did jeongin and felix lowkey devour acting elderly like???

to do x txt flying yoga episode 83

i love this episode so much actually omfg PLEASEE they’re so funny 😭 kpop idols doing any kind of strenuous movement exercise is my favourite content ever

to do x txt self defense episode 104

this one is CRIMINALLY underrated actually. wdym both parts don’t have 1 million views at least? can’t tell you how many times i had to rewind bc i was enjoying it so much 🫶🫶 i have plans to rewatch this soon so i also can learn some self defense moves.

run bts episode 55

this whole trip starts from ep 53 but them slapping each other’s asses and trying not to laugh is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched actually,, this was one of the first run bts vids i watched on vlive and it brings me back when i see clips of it 😢

the nct show (nct 2020 but in 2022)

i love LOVE when nct all gets together :( nct 2018 and nct world 2.0 !!!! everything happens for a reason and sungchan and shotaro belong in riize but this video is so fun and they’re all so cute together!! field day episodes!!!!!! this and hybe game caterers fr

007” 00” the nct show

same as previous with extra emphasis on I LOVE THE 00 LINE HOKY FUCK. yangyang ❤️❤️❤️ i need to watch more wayv content i miss him

upper side dreamin’ halloween version behind the scenes

sunoo dancing to mama at the end is peak editing. enha vs ghosts let’s go!!! they’re all so cute and funny in this 🥳🥳 the way ni-ki abandoned the camera man bye 😭

txt magic island mv

words cannot express how much i miss the dream chapter: magic era. how i wish i could find a song that makes me feel the way run away and magic island do. the things i’d do to listen to that album for the first time omfg!!!! anyways this mv and the run away mv make me so emotional like 😭😭😭 also old bts txt lore used to be so confusing to me like i would spend soo so long trying to figure it out

anyways that’s it bc youtube search and sorting history filters are ass so i can’t find many more but i hope at least 1 person finds a new video to watch from this.

#ashley speaks !#boynextdoor #tomorrow x together #stray kids #bts #enhypen #zerobaseone #nct

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ignitesthestxrs · 11 months ago

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embarassment is cringe who's your bias

oh LOL dw dw i am not literally embarrassed! more just, mindful of audience u know? but also ur my audience now

i am not really a person who tends towards Biases, but here are some guys that i really love atm!

SHINee's Key - look i love all members of shinee, they probably are my ult group these days, but if you forced me at gun point to pick one it would be This Guy. key is kind of the embodiment of the tension of how faggy can you be in public without ever coming out and - well, coming out. i also have a deep respect for how much effort he puts into his solo career, and how interesting and innovative his album concepts have been esp since he got back from the military

Exo's Kai - ah my precious Nini who is here with us largely to vibe. i think he's such a great example of like, how you can be totally hands off in terms of the creative direction of your albums LOL and still be a great performer? this man lip synced his way through his own concert and looked great doing it, 10/10. but i also love just how much he clearly loves his job and meeting other idols and getting to go on tv shows and learn new things about people and the world LOL a giant puppy of a man

TXT's Soobin - speaking of giant puppy men, this is one of my Large Son's Whom I Adore. my fave thing about soobin is that he's like. never held more than a single thought in his head at one time, and everyone he has ever met adores him? like every 4th gen group has a member who is just completely enamoured with soobin, and soobin does not appear to have done anything in particular to have earned this other than being a big guy who likes anime and hedgehogs. i also enjoy how everyone in his group agreed that he needed to be the leader, especially the guys (yeonjun and taehyun) who might have preferred to be the leader themselves, specifically because they knew giving it to the guy who didn't want it the way that they did would probably be a better outcome for the group. amazing head empty man. he's so tall.

Zerobaseone's Hanbin - something is wrong with this man (positive) (fond). no uh, this is a man who has gone to great lengths to change both his physical appearance and personal affect in order to take one last shot at achieving his kpop dreams and something is wrong with ME for how feral this makes me. another guy in the 'legibly queer' column (as in, he was a competitive waacker and faggy as hell doing it lmfao like, sure i'm sure there are straight guys who waack but at a certain point you're allowed to start assuming Gay instead of defaulting Straight ok). he is a control freak. he said his favourite type of person is someone who is competent but pretends not to be so that he can do things instead. one time he was so horrified by his member wearing socks on the bed that he REMOVED THAT BOY'S SOCKS FOR HIM? ON CAMERA? HANBIN WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU

WayV's Kun - the dad to end all dads. i have endless leader feelings about this man, who is the leader of SM's final push to conquer the China market that was actually going really well until [redacted], and suddenly Kun is the leader of a group that has members in different countries, that cannot promote in China while the pandemic is going on and cannot promote in Chinese while in Korea. technically WayV is under the umbrella of the broader NCT group, but xenophobia will have stans staying 'they just don't vibe for some reason'. this man's group was shelved for over a year due to international geopolitics and he held it and them together admirably, and it's been SO good to see WayV employed in 2023 and gaining momentum again. also he can fly a plane ( a real one), somehow made PUBG hot by being very good at it, and one time he was live and you just heard from the background one of his members yelling from the shower KUN GE THERE'S NO HOT WATER, like, every man in this group just has it hard wired into their brain that if there is a problem, kun ge will fix it. and he does.

honestly i could probably go for longer, there are a lot of boys i have a lot of feelings about s o b.

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itsdappleagain · 2 years ago

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actually rounding out all of team red now too, player, zack, and shadowsan for the character asks?

SWEET! thank you sm!

player

How I feel about this character: he's good! i dont hate him but i dont love him. he's cool. fic writers make him so much better tbh. im often frustrated by him because im trying to put carmen in dire situations but i have to figure out how to keep him out of them loll

All the people I ship romantically with this character: uhhh no one i dont think. i thought that one girl in his classroom who smiled at him was funny. and didnt people ship him with that icelandic kid that gray stopped from getting hit by a car??? that was hilarious we should bring that back

My non-romantic OTP for this character: OKAY i already said this on my chase post but him and chase. they have such a dynamic i cannot even explain it because i think im one of the only people who's even touched it but they're so,,, chase can be his dad okay??? also of course him and carmen are a staple

My unpopular opinion about this character: should have put him in more Situations

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: should have put him in more Situations idk what to say

zack

How I feel about this character: he's a very sweet character but i am more often annoyed at him. whenever the writers try to give him an episode its more like a "look what zack has fucked up this time" episode. ivy got the stockholm caper to take charge, which was so cool. zack got...the duke of vermeer caper?? the one where he fucked up the exchange so bad by opening the door to dash that he had to fix it? or maybe the dubai caper, where he was told to steal a car and his petty grudge made him so hateful that he got himself and ivy arrested?? his character deserved sooo much better than annoying comedic relief driver

All the people I ship romantically with this character: hey whatever ship comes along is good yknow? haberzackary. uh. who else do people ship him with?? idk haberzackary was cool when it was super popular. i dont think of him as a super romantic type though. even though he's technically the only character in carmen sandiego to have ever canonically written in the script played out flirted with someone. and she turned out to be a vile op lmaoo

My non-romantic OTP for this character: i think him and chase are funny in a hypothetical situation where they interact. they're both drivers but one is much worse than the other. also zack and mime bomb thank you mangokat

My unpopular opinion about this character: i think i've already stated quite a few above. i have so many plans for him. so many fic ideas

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: literally give him anything interesting or not annoying PLEASE.

shadowsan

How I feel about this character: BEST CHARACTER IN THE SHOW OKAY HE'S DADOWSAN!!!!!!

All the people I ship romantically with this character: WHOO not many!! lady dokuso but ONLY so they can be divorced because thats so much funnier to me. i also kind of like him and chief a little? but more as a good friends ship so hang on

My non-romantic OTP for this character: okay him and chief. i am inhaling their potential for a relationship. they were both sent for dexter wolfe that night. shadow-san was supposed to kill him and tamara wasn't but their roles ended up reversed. their actions that night are irreversibly tangled with carmen's entire story. they both were promoted that night because of what happened- tamara to chief, shadow-san to faculty. do you see??? do you see how tangled up in everyone's stories and each other's they are??? shadow-san owes chief a coffee,, also carmen. she is his daughter. they are family

My unpopular opinion about this character: really honestly don't have any OH WAIT NO okay he shouldn't have done that to poor zack okay. just knocked him out like that. he was doing his best

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: writers were so cowardly for breaking his leg in s4 to ground him. absolutely not thank you

#carmen sandiego #ask game

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ashauyel · 2 years ago

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NCT 127 TITLE TRACK RANKING (PERSONAL OPINION AN OPINION THAT IS SUBJECTIVE AND BASED ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)

16. chain

I do not care for this song. my problem with calling nct songs bad is that they’re all so good at singing it can trick you into thinking a bad song is good. that effect was not successful in this case. this is one of the only 127 songs I would genuinely call overproduced.

15. wakey-wakey

I just realized it’s about to look like I’m just hating on their Japanese titles and to that I say that the Japanese branch of SM should step their game up idk. anyways I don’t hate this song but the intro is unlistenable and the beat is so ludicrously dated for being released in 2019 and not in a fun nostalgic way either.

14. gimme gimme

I like this song but it sounds exactly like Red Velvet’s Wildside and that song is much much better than this so it ranks low just by virtue of having a pretty sister. sorry.

13. regular

I think we can all admit this song is cringe. can we say that like can we be real for a second. anyways it’s still extremely fun and the harmonies are excellent

12. kick it

well. here we are. I know this is their most popular song by far and probably their least controversial but to me that’s it’s weakness. it’s very catchy, the harmonies and bridge are untouchable, and the choreo is excellent but it’s just not… weird enough? their best titles are the ones that really stand out from the crowd and this just does not deliver on that.

11. 2 baddies

full disclosure this song came on shuffle while I was writing this and I burst out laughing, this song is just too much fun. the final chorus is so fucking good it justifies the entire songs existence. its about a threesome, Jaehyun raps about Blues Clues, it’s got old timey car horns interpolated through the melody, Taeyong makes a barely veiled comment about letting the listener fuck him, literally what is there not to like about this song.

10. superhuman

this song was lifted directly from the Shinee vault and I’m not even being hyperbolic about that o would be willing to put money down that this is a reworked Shinee track from like 2013 that didn’t make it out of the basement. and that’s why it’s good 🤷🏻‍♀️ it ranks low-ish purely because it doesn’t sound like a 127 song. to me.

9. punch

why do I feel like this could be a controversial opinion. I like this song. I like the weird ASMR bits, when this song dropped I was obsessed with asking people if they get ASMR tingles. I am a harmony enjoyer so I liked the chorus and the weird minor scales they do on the theremin, it sounds like if Mario Kart had a crossover with Final Fantasy. everyone else hated it because they wore jeans to promote it, and that’s understandable.

8. touch

I AM A GOOFY SONG LIKER. this is also a Shinee song but in a good way. it was a fun pivot from their usual and they really got to show off their vocals. an unambiguously GOOD song, thank you Taeil.

7. favorite

I’m not calling that shit vampire, please get out of my face. anyways I’m angry at this song and will be angry possibly forever. the verses are literally unlistenable. you can’t listen to them, physically. however this song has possible one of the best choruses I’ve ever heard in a pop song or maybe even ANY song. when I want to listen to this song I literally press play while my phone is on silent, fast forward to the chorus, and THEN turn the volume up. so you can see why it ranked where it did.

6. cherry bomb

I can’t separate this song from the loona cover and therefore I’m very enamored with it. honestly this song ranks this high just because of Mark’s rap verse, which is so good it justifies all other horrible inane offbeat and nonsense filled kpop rap verses. in two to five years when SM has attempted to integrate Mark into the American rap market please either remember I said this or forget it entirely out of respect for me.

5. sticker

I can’t explain my art often. I think it’s becoming obvious that their more controversial songs are my favorite and this is because I find them genuinely interesting musically. it’s great to hear vocally talented people dipping into experimental sounds and bringing pop to new places, and I think Sticker exemplifies this! the beat is fun, the vocals are amazing, even the weird nasal rap fits perfectly into this song. a hit!

4. fire truck

an oldy but a goldy! they had a lot to prove with this song and they definitely did the damn thing. I think even people who don’t like nct or anything approaching their sound can still admit this is a good song, which is a slippery slope. Haechan and Taeil facing off during the pre chorus on top of Taeyong rap parts… excellent that’s all there is to say!

3. ay-yo

sorry I couldn’t let this song marinate for a full 24 hours, as if it’s my fault. this song is the best thing 127 has released in years, and it was up against some tough competition. it’s deeply reminiscent of limitless and their early work while keeping all the strengths from their recent albums. I’m purposefully only talking about the titles and not the albums but I have to mention how perfectly this song ties together the repackage, the two new bsides compliment it so well that it wouldn’t surprise me if they were written alongside it, and it very neatly sweeps together the 2baddies album in a way that’s significantly more coherent than the original release. the only reason this isn’t in second is because the bridge should have had Haechan and Taeil in it.

2. simon says

this song is good. to me this is the most nct release to ever exist. the pitched up horse sounds. the weird disjointed bubble noises and seemly random marimba half scales. the bridge to this song should be studied in universities and maybe even churches. this is truly one of those rap parts you either get or don’t, and if you get it you REALLY get it. the production of this song is so interesting and complex that you’d think it would sound busy but the layers fit together in such a fascinating way that it’s incredibly satisfying to pick apart.

1. limitless

this is a very good song. this was so close to the beginning of their career and for them to solidify their sound so early is so fascinating to see given how they’ve only really doubled down and perfected it over the years. the guttural grinding electronic bass sounds matching Taeyong’s vocal fry over the verses, men fighting for their lives on the chorus, Mark was wearing a sweat band, the chanting during the post-chorus… this is the perfect example of how pop can borrow from other genres or successfully utilize interesting techniques to create something new. I actually think this is probably one of the best kpop songs ever made. it’s a GOOD song.

thanks for reading please comment if you have thoughts I don’t feel like reading this again so if I spelled something wrong please have mercy on me okay byeee

#hehe!#nct 127 #so I can find this later because searches don’t work on my blog heheee

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mickstart · 2 years ago

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hey bestie uhm everything i know about cod is currently from a cursory look at the fandom wiki and a 24 hour fic bender and i gotta ask,, [when] does soap get promoted past ghost? it’s bugging me sm bc he’s a sergeant but then he’s a captain and i’m 😵‍💫 is it the different timelines at play? what goes on? xxx p.s. please make the answer to this as detailed as you like i’m truly very interested do not abridge anything for my sake

Bestie I have terrible news for you... you are about to read the words

The Call Of Duty Modern Warfare Multiverse

Basically there's two modern warfare timelines/universes, the original one and the soft reboot one. From what *I* personally can tell the point of timeline divergence is the earliest playable mission, where Price is a leftenant sent to Chernobyl under MacMillan to assassinate Zakhaev. In the original they fail but escape alive. In the reboot they succeed but MacMillan dies. For some reason from this point on everything about the timelines including character ages diverts massively. Not sure what zakhaev being dead has to do with when soap's parents decided to fuck but fuck it we ball I guess.

In the original, the first modern warfare is basically about Stopping Zakhaev. They stop his plans, but during their escape he kills Soap's entire squad (including Gaz, who is portrayed as much more experienced than Soap in the original and more like Price's partner in crime than his protege) but Price slides Soap his pistol, and Soap takes out Zakhaev. The timeline gets a little iffy here due to the new writing team for mw3 and a popular fan project deciding that Price needed to be the protagonist and therefore needed to be around between mw1 and mw2 to Do Things. But in original canon what happens next is: price is presumed dead and locked up in a gulag, Soap is the sole survivor of an elite squad who stopped a nuclear war and were so classified nobody outside of the high ranking military ever heard the full story. (The end of MW1 actually plays you a news clip showing the false story told to the public it's lowkey kinda haunting after watching gaz die in front of you.)

Because of this, Soap is promoted all the way up to Captain by the events of the original MW2. So in the original, as soon as you meet Ghost, Soap already outranks him. It's very cool to play as soap in mw1, feel out of your depth and inexperienced, and then see him in mw2 5 years later giving the commands. I won't talk about how the mw trilogy was CLEARLY originally supposed to be about Soap and his journey from FNG to Experienced Captain Who Surpasses Price, but... yeah.

In the REBOOT, none of that has happened. So Soap is still a Sergeant who doesn't have the trauma or experience of taking down zakhaev and losing all his friends in the process. Ghost keeps his lt rank and thus outranks him.

So the short answer is: he's a captain or a sergeant when he meets Ghost depending on which timeline you're in. Reboot seems to be going hard on FNG, team baby Soap who is learning from Ghost. Original went hard on experienced but doubting himself, team dad Soap, with Ghost as his right hand man.

#also imo the original universe is FAR more compelling and interesting #the plot is way better #but the characters are MUCH better in reboot #so it's really like... both have their strengths

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ruinedwild · 1 month ago

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⸻ he could always pride himself for being the most responsible one out of the three of them on any given day. even if for the most part he could be quite mischievous from time to time but when things were meant to become serious he would always step up to the plate , however though now was not that time at least in his mind that is as more than due for a little bit of fun especially when he needed it the most when he & his group were right in the middle of preparations for their upcoming tour slated to begin in the next couple of months in order to promote their last album so naturally stress was at an all time high for this point and upon seeing his best friend's face emerge from the darkness once he looked out the window he almost couldn't help himself from smiling despite knowing full well that he would need the extra hours of sleep for the upcoming days of preparations he'd have to go through with the rest of his group mates and in the event he'd ever get caught going out so very late that he would get one hell of a scolding by not only the group's , noah but by their manager as well he still thought that all of that was going to be all worth it as he clearly needs some sort of break from all of the madness that idol life often brought into his life as of late especially after debuting some months ago and all of those often times dangerous thoughts had been swirling around in his head which in turn only made him worry even that much more than he would normally.

but as soon as he got downstairs and finally meet up again with his best friend pulling them closer to his side. he could just feel all of his worries melt away from his mind especially knowing that they'd have something in mind , albeit something very chaotic maybe even something dumb ? but he'd already come to expect that coming from his best friend even from when they were kids growing up with each other and its a good thing that he could be just as chaotic as hyunwoo can be from time to time. rolling both of his eyes at their word knowing fully well that they were clearly joking as he shoved them slightly in return before speaking up again “ you know what i mean bro. ” he said already laughing from their next words as he playfully him them on the shoulder before speaking up once again. “ oh ! so the same old thing don't you get tired of that though ? ” he added raising his eyebrows in return before falling into a pit of giggles at his words “ yah ! you try being an idol for day and see how you like it then ? that sounds like a plan but you know what will make that even better by taking kaden along with us ? i'll text him right now if you're game. ” he said already pulling out his phone from his pocket without waiting for a response from the other male as he sent over a quick little text to them.

sms : hey loser , get up because me and hyunwoo are coming by to pick you up to do something stupid again.

hyunwoo grinned widely as he watched his friend lean out the window, already anticipating the inevitable scolding. the gentle tap of the stones had done the trick, and the scowl on his friend's face was all too familiar. he raised a hand in mock surrender, laughing softly to himself. ❛ surprise visit are way more fun, don't you think ? ❜ he called up, leaning against the building with that signature mischievous grin. ❛ besides, you never would've let me come over this late if i told you. ❜

when his friend finally made it outside, hyunwoo felt the arm slung around his shoulder and gave him a playful shove, though he didn’t push him away. he was glad to see him. ❛ you really think i'm scared of the hyungs ? ❜ he teased, raising an eyebrow as he fell into step beside him. ❛ i'm hyunwoo .. trouble is in my blood, and you're my partner in crime. ❜ he glanced over, noticing the grin that mirrored his own. ❛ as for how i've been .. you know, the usual, creating chaos, avoiding my family's drama, and thinking of ways to drag you into it. ❜ he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. ❛ what about you ? still living that boring life, huh ? ❜ he shot his friend a playful, knowing look. ❛ let's change that. what do you say we sneak off somewhere ? maybe hit up a convenience store and grab some snacks .. or do something stupid ? ❜

#blackcardz #ii.　⸻　threads : BANG JUYEON .#ii.　⸻　threads : KADEN BANG .

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minhoinator · 3 years ago

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Since there are a lot more new fans since DCM/Atlantis era, I thought I might compile a list of the links and names of Minho's dramas and films he's been in! I'll put it all under the cut and I'll try to keep it update since he seems intent on being booked and busy lol

The Pianist (2010) [youtube] - "Oh Je Ro is a musical genius who had always dream of learning the piano, but had to work in a piano factory as tuner instead of going to school in order to support his sick father. He had despaired of ever being given a chance to learn and thought the name his father gave him sounded like "Oh, Zero", signifying his lack of hope in the future. This changes when he meets an elementary school teacher, Yoon In Sa, and begins a delicate love story with her." (personal note: While you can tell it's his first time acting outside of SHINee's mvs, he's still super cute (granted, I'm very biased, so that anything I say with a grain of salt lol)

Salamander Guru and the Gang (2012) [dramacool] - "A pair of common thieves and a young computer hacker run a fortunetelling scam, while helping people with their personal problems in their spare time." (note: Kibum and Taemin do cameo in this, as well)

To The Beautiful You (2012) [viki] [dramacool] - "A high school girl who's inspired by a gold-medal High Jumper devises a scheme to motivate him by attending his school."

Medical Top Team (2013) [viki] [dramacool] [Minho-only cut] - "A team of elite doctors treats patients while dealing with power struggles within the hospital."

Because It's the First Time (2015) [dramacool] - "A group of young people gather on a rooftop and tell their stories." (note: Taeoh's friends absolutely did not deserve him 😤)

Canola (2016) [dramacool] - "Twelve years after having lost her grand daughter at a market, grand mother and grand daughter become reunited. But things are not as good and perfect as they were twelve years earlier. (note: his first movie! 🥺)

Drinking Solo (2016) [dramacool] - "The story depicts people drinking alcohol alone for different reasons and the romance between Jin Jeong Seok and Park Ha Na. They both work at a private institute for people preparing for their civil service examinations in Noryangjin, Seoul. He is an arrogant, but popular instructor and she is a rookie instructor who struggles to survive in the private institute world." (note: full disclosure, I could not stand the main leads, but I was watching this for Kibum anyways, and he was phenomenal lol Minho just has a cameo appearance in this, and that's episode 5, I believe)

Derailed (2016) [dramacool] - "Four runaways trying to survive and make ends meet struggle day by day. Enter Ma Dong-Seok. He tried to help but they took advantage of the wrong guy. So it's the classic mistake of wrong guy at the wrong time." (note: one of my favorite roles he's done. he didn't have to go as hard as he did but he did and i'm grateful)

Hwarang: The Poet Warrior Youth (2016-2017) [viki] [dramacool] - "Revolves around an elite group of male warrior youth called Hwarang who grow through passion and love in Seorabeol, the capital of the ancient kingdom of Silla." (note: i have watched this....many times. I love it unapologetically. Kim Sooho has done nothing wrong ever in his life)

Somehow 18 (2017) [dramacool] - "A handsome orthopedic surgeon loses his first love who committed suicide when he was in his high school days. To save her he gets the chance to go back in time."

The Most Beautiful Goodbye in the World (2017) [dramacool] - "The story revolves around a family with their highs and lows when their beloved mother only has one month left to live." (note: I bought this one on dvd so i could watch it when I'm ready but it sounds so sad 🥺 i have to psych myself up for it)

The Princess and the Matchmaker (2018) [dramacool] - "Princess Songhwa refuses her fate of marrying someone who matches her marital harmony. There are four men on her future husband list with different fate signs. Refusing her fate, she decides to leave the palace and find her husband by herself. Seo Do Yoon is a person who interprets marital harmony signs. He is very skilled at his craft and, consequently, selected as the one to read the marital harmony signs between Princess Songhwa and the four men on her husband list."

Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018) [dramacool] - "Set in the distant future where both North and South Koreas agree to establish a joint government, which has been in preparation for a duration of seven years, the plot focuses on political uprisings on opposing sides which grow fierce when a special police unit is formed to stop the chaos." (note: 🥺😭)

The Battle of Jangsari (2019) [viki] [dramacool] - "A unit of student soldiers on a diversionary mission for the Battle of Incheon during the Korean War in 1950." (note: yeah so i was a complete mess for like the last twenty minutes so just prepare yourself (it's well worth it, though, he was absolutely amazing in this))

Lovestruck in the City (2020-2021) [dramacool] - "Park Chae Won, an honest and overly passionate architect who loves the city streets. After a woman that he calls the “camera thief” steals his heart one summer night and then disappears, he is unable to get over her. Lee Eun Oh, a freelance marketer who spontaneously decides to adopt a false identity in an unfamiliar place. She accidentally ends up falling in love with Park Chae Won while posing as the free-spirited Yoon Sun Ah."

Yumi's Cells (2021) [viki] [dramacool] - "The story of an ordinary office worker named Yumi-from the point of view of the many brain cells in her head controlling her every thought, feeling, and action." (note: just, so adorable so far. Minho plays a side character who shows up occasionally (heavily in the first two episodes), but the story is based off of a web comic that I read when I found out he got cast as Wook and honestly it's worth the watch even if he wasn't in it)

#SHINee #Minho #Choi Minho #Minho's filmography #Choi Minho's filmography #mine #look at me; promoting him more than SM ever will #lmao #anyways i'll keep this updated!#descriptions are by imdb lol #it's just so cool to see how much he's grown as an actor over the years #i'm really proud of him #I can't wait to see what happens with Goosebumps uwu

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blainesebastian · 2 years ago

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mutually assured satisfaction (pt8)

words: 5,303 ship: austin butler x reader summary: reader’s agent approaches her with a PR stunt to date austin butler and promote both their careers. a mapped out plan, an electric relationship–what could possibly go wrong? notes: masterlist is on my sidebar, thanks for reading! warnings: none :) tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @kittenlittle24, @slowsweetlove, @namoreno, @strokesofstokes, @callthedarknessdown, @kibumslatina, @al-co-hol-youlater, @frogoerson, @dancer4j

The breakup between you is silent, nothing public or overly dramatic, leaked to press and plastered on the internet and letting that virus run its course until it’s out of everyone’s systems. Social media has a field day with it, posting smear pieces and fans taking sides, unironically drumming up even more publicity for both of your movies. That was the whole plan right? The point? Even the breakup would end up serving you both in satisfactory ways.

And yet it’s not something you can even begin to revel in.

There are a few emotions that have been constantly ping-ponging you back and forth; anger, frustration, sadness, before you finally just land on acceptance. At the end of the day, this was a deal, this was an agreement, and both of you met that. You throw yourself into your next project, meet new people, continue the work that you love doing.

And pretend that there’s not this small feeling deep in your chest that tells you how much you really miss Austin. It wasn’t just a relationship to you, he was quickly becoming someone you counted on, a friend, someone you enjoyed laughing with and having pointless conversations into the early hours of the morning. There was kissing, yes, and how it felt to have his lips and hands on your body but it was also so much more than that.

You think you fell just a little bit in love with him.

But things change and a lot of time passes—you don’t pay attention to the gossip and tabloids but you’re pretty sure Austin is dating some model with a name you can’t remember. Might start with a K? Regardless, you’ve reached the point where you can accept that, maybe even feel some sort of happiness for him? Or at least not hate him for moving on.

That’s what you’re doing too.

When you run into Nate again at a fashion show in New York, you start entertaining the idea of seeing him again. What it might be like to actually repair your relationship, to try again. There are even a few dates where you both have a good time. But when you kiss him, he gently cups your cheek and pulls away,

“It’s not me you’re kissing.” He says but he’s not upset by it, it’s just a fact.

You’re just not sure what you’re supposed to do with that.

When you meet with Christina to talk about events, promotions, photoshoots, interviews—she does not mention Austin even though you can tell there’s always that lingering comment, question, in the back of her throat. She kinda gives you this look that makes your skin crawl, as if opportunities are somehow slipping right through your fingers.

Sometimes, late at night, you tap open your text conversation with Austin and look at the last messages you sent one another. It was something silly about horror movies, a promise to watch Alien together because he’s never seen it. You can’t quite bring yourself to delete the interaction, even though you come closer each time.

A handful of months disappear and on the anniversary of your grandmother’s death you watch The Borne Identity to remember her by, a soft smile on your lips the entire time because she really did love Matt Damon. Joked about what she’d do if she ever met the man.

A few people reach out to you with condolences and kind words, knowing that it’s a rough day, and you somehow think you’ll hear from Austin even though you know you shouldn’t expect it.

Before you crawl into bed, a message dings on your phone and when you open up the thread, you’re kinda blinking at the small screen a few times in disbelief. It’s a picture from Austin of his TV and you can tell he’s watching The Borne Supremacy.

There’s no other message attached but you swear your heart swells twice its size—the image meaning more to you than you can possibly put into words.

The door that’s closed between you two begins to open up just a smidge.

You don’t really talk, not like you used to, there’s a few texts here and there but nothing of incredible substance. You can feel the hesitance on the other side, the tension thick enough to cut with a butterknife. So much unsaid and yet nothing to say at all. Elvis is still blowing up, regardless that it’s out of theaters, and you send little confetti emojis to him because it’s definitely something to be proud of. He sends back a heart. A week later he sends a P.I. emoji with a question mark and a soft smile tugs at the corners of your lips because there’s been rumors you’re going to star in a spy movie—very James Bond, but not quite. You reply back with a magnifying glass and an exclamation point.

And for some reason, this bare minimum way of communicating is enough. A bridge that was completely burned down being rebuilt.

Your Instagram keeps showing you not-so-helpful images of Austin and some beautiful model walking around together, getting lunch, her wearing his coat on cold days, coffee cups in hands and sharing smiles.

He looks happy—you want to ask him so many questions and yet all you can do is flip through image after image before finally closing your phone.

You should know better than anyone that pictures are never what they seem.

You go on a blind date that’s downright terrible and honestly, at this point you should know better than to let Christina suggest anyone to you. But you give it a shot because you’re lonely and you have to take steps to move on because being miserable just isn’t an option for you. It’s one thing to fail after trying, it’s another to not try at all.

Stepping out of the bar, you take a deep breath and draw your coat tighter around yourself. You got an Uber here and despite Randy wanting to take you home with him, you’re getting a ride back to your apartment. You just needed some fresh air, zipping up your coat and rocking back on your heels as you wait for the thing to arrive.

Five minutes.

You flip through a few apps absently, just wasting time, and your thumb hovers over Austin’s name as you debate texting him about this terrible date. But…you don’t. It’s not…you can’t do stuff like that. You two are barely friends and the last thing you want to do is somehow create problems in his relationship by texting him late at night when he’s probably with his model girlfriend.

You were already labeled a homewrecker thanks to your fake relationship; you don’t actually need to become one.

“I thought that was you.”

And then you damn near swallow your tongue because you turn slowly and there, smack in the middle of your universe, is Austin. He looks…good because of course he does. Handsome in a way that is somehow never captured in images or video, striking in person. It almost knocks you to your knees. He’s wearing a pair of brown boots and triple denim, which shouldn’t look good on anyone and yet it works so well for him, highlighting his long legs and trim waist.

You let out a soft breath that puffs in the night air, “Hi.”

He gives you soft smile, walking towards you, out of the bar you were just in. Was he there the whole time? Is his date waiting for him inside? “How are you?”

You purse your lips, shrugging your one shoulder, “I’m good, busy…uh,” You motion to the bar, “Clearly goin’ on terrible dates—I should never let Christina talk me into meeting anyone she knows. Randy talked about sweater vests for, I’m not joking, an hour.”

A soft laugh leaves his lips, “Yikes,” He winces as he sticks his hands into his pockets. There’s a small pause before, “I thought you might be…with Nate.”

You raise your eyebrows because interesting; you suppose you could see why he’d think that. There were a lot of rumors that you had gotten back together even after both of you decided not to try out your relationship again because you couldn’t stop thinking about—

“No,” You shake your head at Austin, “It didn’t end up working out.”

Your phone pings that your Uber driver is a minute away and you take in a deep breath, shifting your weight from one foot to another. Perfect timing because you’re not quite sure you can do this anymore, the small talk, it’s bad enough seeing him and thinking about the girl waiting for him back inside the bar.

“Don’t let me keep you from your date, my ride’s almost here.” You give him a small smile, “It was really nice seeing you.”

His eyebrows draw together for a moment and you’re moving into the street to look for your driver when—

“I’m not seein’ anyone.”

You turn quickly to look at him, his shoulders pulling together in a shrug as a slightly amused expression settles on his face. Okay now you’re definitely confused, your mouth opening and closing, trying to get the question out—

“She’s just a good friend,” Austin replies, anticipating the words that never leave your lips, “People have been speculatin’, but you know they get that wrong sometimes.”

A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth before you nod—that’s definitely true. You try not to let yourself get too overwhelmed with the heat building up inside your chest, that familiar feeling of butterflies at hearing that Austin isn’t with anyone, that he’s single, that maybe he’s told you for a reason.

“Yeah,” You agree with an amused grin, putting your phone away when your car pulls up, “Really hate when that happens.”

There’s a soft laugh from Austin, giving you a wave as you get into the car. He doesn’t go back into the bar right away, watching you drive off, and that fluttering sensation stays with you long after he’s disappeared from the rearview mirror.

The last place you thought you’d be tonight is some sort of fashion event but…Christina is insisting you put yourself out there, have your face seen, drum up discussions on what you’re wearing, interviews about your new project and mingle with celebrities and designers that you haven’t spoken to before. You’d much rather be at home on your couch, eating queso and tacos from an Uber eats order in your pajamas but…

You guess there’s always time for that later.

You’ve definitely been to worse events; this one at least has decent drinks and the people there aren’t altogether insufferable. No one asks you about what happened between you and Austin, which is a blessing…after the breakup, it seemed to be what everyone wanted to talk about. You actually get questions about your films, upcoming projects, and some personal preferences about where you like to vacation, or, other events you’ve been to lately that have peaked your interests.

One of the things you’ve been enjoying about tonight is, for one, the weather is clear and crisp—one of your favorite temperatures outside (yes, of course you’ve got favorites...anyone who says they don’t is a liar). You’re wearing a long-sleeved navy-blue dress tonight, mesh inserts in the sides, paired with black heels. It’s perfect for you to slip outside onto the roof of the building; another thing that’s ticking all your boxes with this fashion show is that it’s on the top floor of this beautiful place downtown. It overlooks the city, bright lights sparkling against a blanket of darkness, and you draw a deep breath into your lungs as you sneak out.

Not many people are interested, given the weather, but you can’t get enough of it. Evading the buzz of conversations and questions, you feel yourself level out as you take a sip of wine and wander across the balcony-roof, head tipped slightly back to look at the sky.

Not to mention, an escape is exactly what you need right now—you’re pretty sure you saw Randy milling around in there, definitely would like to avoid him if you can help it. One blind date was enough, no need for a repeat. Leaning against the banister, you let your arms hang over as you look down at the city—part of you wonders what the people below are doing, small cars drifting across streets, little dots of city dwellers moving in and out of spaces that your eye can barely see or make out. Wild Friday nights or attempting to make it home to loved ones? Searching for that late night junk-food itch or maybe catching the subway to a twenty-four-hour gym. So many possibilities.

You wonder if anyone below is looking up, thinking who might be on the top of this building. A lonely actress, drinking wine.

You don’t hear the footsteps approach you from behind, but you do turn at the familiar voice, “What is it with you and rooftops?”

Smiling a little, your eyes drink in Austin because of course he’s here. You probably should have assumed, he’s got his fingers on the pulse of the celebrity scene lately, Elvis has exploded his career in a bunch of different ways. Not to mention the relationship with you—he’s kind of wanted everywhere and you have to admit that it’s working in your favor tonight.

It’s really nice to see him.

“Maybe I just know this is a guaranteed spot to find me.”

He hums, putting his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He’s got a simple outfit on, yet he’s stunning. Black slacks, cherry red shoes, a black mesh shirt with one red pocket square. Unfair, really, to look so beautiful without any effort put into it.

“You makin’ it easy for me?” Austin asks, coming to lean on the railing next you.

You shrug your one shoulder, taking a sip of your wine. “Maybe,” You repeat, “Here you are.” You don’t automatically mean for it to sound like…you’re thinking about how easy it’d be for him to associate rooftops with you, for Austin to find you here if he was looking. And yet it’d definitely be a plus.

Austin smiles a little, chewing on his lower lip as he glances behind both of you to the event going on. You wonder if he’s got someone waiting for him inside as he stepped out for fresh air. Pursing your lips, you drag your thumb along the railing—so many things you want to say and yet no idea how to get them out of your mouth.

“You flyin’ solo tonight?” He asks.

You glance back up at him, nodding, “Yeah, I’ve decided it’s the best way to approach these things—totally no strings attached.” Not trying to throw shade or anything, towards Nate, him, Randy…you’re just kinda done with the whole dating thing for right now. Got other things you could be focusing on that’s not going to drive you completely crazy.

Austin hums, “Thought you might be avoidin’ what’s his name, uh—Randy?”

You laugh outright, the sound blanketed in a bit of surprise. God, absolutely not. He smirks at your reaction, leaning right into teasing you,

“Oh what, you’re not with him tonight?” He’s grinning, baiting.

“God no, how did you—” You start but then you remember that Austin was outside the bar that night when you’d had that terrible blind date.

And then he says something else that surprises you, “What? I’m all caught up on celebrity gossip—I skim the tabloids.”

You raise your eyebrows, your stomach flip-flopping in a way you wish it wouldn’t, “Checkin’ up on me?”

While there’s this whisper of a thrill inside of you about him keeping tabs on you, you know better than to run away with that idea. Despite spending all this additional time with Austin, pretending to be with him, it doesn’t mean you actually know him any better.

You thought you did, or could.

“Maybe,” He replies, pulling you from your thoughts by bumping your shoulders together. “You tryin’ to tell me you’re not reading up on me? Lookin’ at Instagram stories? Bookmarking articles?”

You let out a slow breath, the air fluttering your hair a little bit. You feel like you don’t even have to respond to that because he’ll see right through your façade—clearly you’ve been just as curious as he is. While Austin’s joking, teasing, flirting with you, it doesn’t make what he’s asking any less pointed.

Despite answers you both know are true, you find yourself shaking your head. “You wish.” A soft laugh follows, breaking apart any tension that might linger.

There’s a soft comfortable silence that follows, to which Austin gives a soft nod, a smile still on his handsome face. He looks out at the city, the breeze coasting across the roof playing with the tufts of blonde curls on his head. There’s this deep ache to touch him, to be close with him again, to feel the same way you felt when you were categorizing everything as ‘fake’—just so ironic.

“Yeah,” He says after a moment, “I do wish…actually.”

You swallow, really unsure what to do with that. There’s this distinct sensation of butterflies turning into bats in your stomach and moving into your chest, wings grazing against bone. You don’t understand, why is he doing this? Saying things like this? You thought he was pretty clear before the breakup that he regretted this whole thing happening in the first place. He didn’t say those exact words, but he might as well have. The hurt you felt was the same.

There are questions that you want to ask building on your tongue, heartbeat pounding in your ears because you don’t think Austin is like that—treating this as one big joke, flirting with you because he’s bored, because he enjoys causing waves, getting underneath people’s skin.

Glancing down at your abandoned glass of wine, you attempt to shift the conversation, clearing your throat, “You uh—didn’t come with anyone either?”

Austin shakes his head, standing to his full height to look at you, “Nah, the person I really wanted to go with, I wasn’t sure she’d be comin’ tonight.”

That response is enough to send you right over the edge, your feelings for him still so strong and prominent and it’s really unfair of him to yank your chain like this. What, is this just a game to him? Are your emotions just things he can play with? The last thing you want to do is assume you know exactly how he’s feeling but…how are you supposed to think about anything other than that night on the balcony?

At the end of the day this was just what we said it was, right? Fake relationship? PR stunt?

And yeah, maybe you had begun to repair what was left of a friendship that had bloomed in-between all that but—

You let out an overwhelmed breath, shaking your head as you turn to go back inside. You can’t do this. “Excuse me.”

Austin reaches for your elbow, gently keeping you in place, “Wait, Y/N—please.”

“Please what?” You snap, pulling back from him.

You don’t understand what he could possibly say to you right now and you’re not sure you want to hear him anyways. Things between you were good, they were decent, on the way to repairing what was broken and possibly becoming friends after this—something that was actually real. And then he goes and stirs up all these old emotions, ripping scabs off of healing wounds, capable of drawing you completely back in.

“Can I just—” And for the first time in a while, Austin seems flustered, like this might not actually work out in his favor. But his tone is calm and patient, trying—and for some reason that sounds a whole lot like your grandmother’s voice in your head telling you to give him a chance, even if he might not deserve one. You don’t move. You slowly cross your arms across your chest, almost like a shield.

Closing your eyes a moment, suddenly tired about all of this, “Austin—there’s nothing left to say. I think we covered everything that night on the balcony.”

“No,” He shakes his head, “That’s what I’m talkin’ about, I was—ashamed about what I’d said to you, all that other stuff afterwards just came out.”

You frown, your eyebrows drawing together as he talks because…you remember those words like a knife; sharp, unyielding. You remember the sting on your palm after slapping him across the face—he’d created so much distance between you in such a short amount of time after that. And you understand, in a way, wanting to run from words sitting in the air, from the regret of even putting them out there in the first place.

But…

“It doesn’t matter,” You murmur, curling your hair around your ear.

“It does matter,” Austin insists, taking a step towards you. “It matters to me—you matter to me.”

You can feel yourself trembling and it has nothing to do with the cold breeze passing over the rooftop. You draw your arms tighter around yourself, attempting to swallow down the bout of emotions that intend on completely drowning you. Everything in your body is telling you to reply the same way, that he matters to you too, that he always has despite everything getting so fucked up and lost. That you knew that was exactly how you felt the moment he asked about your grandmother, when he showed up at your family home when there was no obligation for him to do so, when he pulled you close and kissed you in that bathroom of his friend’s place. How you can still hear his heartbeat against the shell of your ear from resting your head on his chest, feel his hands on your skin, the heat of his kiss between your thighs.

How you feel about him is intoxicating and it hasn’t faded, even though you’ve tried to tell yourself it has.

You realize that you’re standing on the edge of a precipice—and you either need to forgive him or completely close the door that was reopening between you two.

You draw in a soft breath, “So you…you regret it then?” A pause, “Breaking up?”

Austin holds your gaze for a long moment before shaking his head, “I don’t regret breakin’ up our fake relationship,” And that’s…that’s not what you expected him to say. You can feel your own face fall—

“Because I’d really want to date you—for real.”

It takes a moment for it to register what Austin is actually saying to you, but once it does, a laugh spills from your lips—something genuine and warm. And well, there’s nothing else to do but go with your gut, right?

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” You tease.

Austin grins, taking a chance step forward to wrap his arms around you in a hug. You allow him to pull you close, your eyes fluttering closed as you fit perfectly underneath his chin. It feels like a part of you is coming home, the shell of your ear resting against his chest, the scent of his sandalwood cologne achingly familiar. You can’t help but turn your face a bit into him, nose and lips brushing along the soft material of his shirt. His arms automatically squeeze you tighter, his head dipping to press a kiss into your hair.

Deciding to do this could be an incredibly terrible idea but at least you’ll be figuring out how to wade through it together.

That’s all you can really ask for and honestly? all that you really want. To be on the same page, finally, with no strings attached.

Once that fashion show passes, your relationship is once again pushed in the center of public attention. Photos of you two leaving the event wrapped up in one another circulate quickly, articles are written, BuzzFeed titles are made, Tumblr posts are drafted, Instagram stories are posted. Your careers begin to spin, that very same night Christina sends screenshots of emails for interviews and updates and asks the serious question of: is it real? Nothing brings more pleasure to you than telling her yes. She sends back pleased emojis and lets you know that press and obligations can wait—to just enjoy Austin and reconnecting what you felt had been lost.

There’s late night sharing of food on your apartment balcony, too many laughs and kisses to count.

And falling back into bed with him is one of the easiest things you’ve ever done.

Austin’s been pretty straightforward about PDA—he clearly doesn’t mind it or feels like you have to tone anything down, no matter where you are. It’s kinda refreshing because you know a lot of other men that you’ve been with (no offense to Nate) weren’t like that. Austin’s not shy about it—he’d wrap his arms around you from behind while in a line at a café, move to sit next to you at a restaurant to put an arm around your shoulders or share a kiss, his hands would travel while walking around doing something as mundane as errands—on your lower back, your waist, your hips, your ass. And then at events? Always a hand on you somehow, touching your waist, arm, shoulders, sometimes your face to draw you into a kiss.

When the relationship wasn’t real, you thought he was going through all these obvious, purposeful gestures because he knew people were watching.

Apparently this is just who Austin is because as soon as you begin seeing one another again? it starts back up like clockwork.

You suppose it shouldn’t feel so ironic that, essentially, things between you feel the same—that you fall back into similar patterns and states of being with one another. There was more truth than fiction in your relationship before than either of you wanted to admit.

Attending an event for one of your films, the carpet is busy with rows of a mixture of photographers, interviewers and fans. Austin helps out a lot with the dress you’re wearing—definitely your stylist’s idea even though you kinda love it. It’s long and sheer, iridescent in a way but covering you in the spots that matter. Your hair is softly curled, sitting on your shoulders and makeup matching the soft hues in your dress. It’s a banger, you’re obsessed, but also at the same time? Slightly nervous you’re gonna get tripped up and fall on your ass in front of everyone.

“I won’t let that happen,” Austin assures before you even get out of the car, “I got you.” He grins, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your lips. While the support is appreciated, this is also the same man that keeps teasing you that you look like a ‘mermaid stranded on land’. So.

His suit is completely black, which works well with the soft glow your dress has in certain lighting—a striking pair. You almost wish you could have worn more sensible shoes, but the look wouldn’t have been complete, not even to mention that the length wouldn’t have allowed it. Once you’re on the carpet, slowly making your way towards where pictures will be taken, Austin keeps an eye on the small train of your dress. He keeps it from getting tied up and so you’re not stepping on it either.

You smile up at him when you get to the line of photographs right before you enter the event, which sometimes can feel so long. He stands next to you, a soft laugh leaving your lips as he moves just to flutter out your dress. You can tell the photographers are eating that up, shutters snapping and bulbs flashing. He wraps an arm around your waist and poses for photos and sometimes you allow yourself a glance up—he’s so unbelievably handsome, it’s like a hand reaching directly into your gut and squeezing.

“Y/N! Y/N over here! Over here.” And sometimes the photographers are vocal like that, wanting their shot.

But you can’t take your eyes off Austin.

He eventually looks down at you, a soft smile tugging the corners of his mouth—more genuine, intimate, something just for you. He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips, and regardless of how public it is, you can feel the world around you fizzle into the distance. You’re constantly losing yourself in the pressure of his touch, the blueness of his eyes, the warmth of his kiss.

There are a few interviewers that you make sure to stop to along the way, people that you recognize before in the interview circuit, that have proven to ask great questions, a bit personal when they need to be, and never overly rude or pushy. Austin trails a bit behind as he speaks to some as well, seeking some fans out who keep grabbing his attention to sign things or pose for selfies.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” Kathy from Entertainment Weekly says. You smile back at the familiar face, a shy laugh that you sometimes automatically feel in front of the camera, despite practice, sneaking out of your chest.

“Thank you, it’s nice to see you again.”

Kathy smiles, genuinely touched to be remembered, “You too. I see you’re here with your boyfriend, Austin Butler—who’s looking dashingly handsome tonight.”

You smile a little, glancing over your shoulder towards Austin as he pauses for some photos. The lights from the camera flashes bounce attractively against the all-black suit, somehow making the gold in his curls a shade darker, his eyes an ocean blue.

You can’t help but take in a soft breath, “He is,” You agree, giving your attention back to Kathy.

“I have to ask—” And you can almost feel this question coming, “It was rumored that you and Austin actually started dating because of a big PR move between your agents—is there any truth to that?”

To your credit, you’re pretty sure your face gives nothing away. You’re trying to figure out the best way to even approach this question, your mouth opening and a short breath being drawn into your lungs. The moment you begin to talk, Austin comes up beside you, his arm absentmindedly slipping around your waist,

“How you doin’ Kathy?” He asks, recognizing her as well. And she grins while shaking his hand. “What question are we askin’?”

You tip your chin to look up at him, a smile tugging the corners of your mouth, “Oh you know—the usual, whether we were in a fake relationship a few months ago.”

Austin raises his eyebrows, a laugh rumbling in his chest that you can feel with your proximity rather than hear, “Now who on earth would believe somethin’ like that?”

Your cheeks flush pink as you smile at him, a giddiness traveling up into your ribcage from your belly. The rest of the interview continues seamlessly, even if you’re not sure if Kathy believed what either of you have said. You suppose it doesn’t matter—nothing does outside of the narrative that you two have for your relationship.

Once inside and there’s a small window of privacy, Austin turns and leans down, drawing you into another kiss. You wrap your arms around his waist, keeping him close, smiling against his lips.

In the beginning of this, you were overwhelmed that this was going to be a huge mistake, a waste, a distraction from finding something that was ‘real’.

Turns out that 'something real' was in front of you this whole time.

Thank you for reading :) I appreciate love and support for this series, meant a lot!

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler drabble #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things #mas series #mas

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